Fake Tales of San Francisco

Fake Tales of San Francisco by The Arctic Monkeys
"Echo through the room
More point to a wedding disco
Without a bride or groom

There's a super cool band yeah
With their trilbys and their glasses of white wine
And all the weekend rock stars in the toilets
Practicing their lines

I don't want to hear you
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you no
(Kick me out, kick me out)

Fake Tales of San Francisco
Echo through the air
And there's a few bored faces in the back
All wishing they weren't there

And as the microphone squeaks
A young girl's telephone beeps
Yeah she's dashing for the exit
she's running to the streets outside
"Oh you've saved me," she screams down the line
"The band weren’t very good
And I'm not having a nice time”

Yeah but his bird thinks it's amazing, though
So all that's left
Is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf

He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunter's Bar
I don't quite know the distance
But I'm sure that's far
I'm sure that's pretty far

I'd love to tell you all my problem
You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham
So get off the bandwagon, and put down the handbook"

A co worker of mine, who knows like every one in the British music biz, brought in the new Arctic Monkeys record, kind of the first hot shit thing of 2006. There is this song “Fake Tales of San Francisco” so of course I couldn’t help but think of this past weekend in San Francisco, and if the stories I can tell (let alone remember) are real or fake. So here’s my take, on my fake tales of San Francisco.

I landed, had a burrito and met up with the peeps at Casanova. Hit the sack and went to work the next morning. After work, I made it home for a rest and some cheap sushi. Then some tequila with Emily while Birdie spun “bootie jams.” And a party, like a cover thing, and “Sparksicles.” (Another Arctic Monkeys song reference here) “I bet you look good on the Dance Floor” – and Ms. Alia, you did.

A late night something or other and passing out to Stars. Waking up to dog bites and brunch with MA and Melly Sue @ Blue Jay Café. I saw Cousin Larry from back in the day on my way out. A party preview, a trip to the old place, and then to Hayes Valley for a haircut. Still in the same clothes and stench from the night before.

Prom with Hari turning her dirty 30. Pretty girls in pretty prom dresses. Just saw some pictures, and half that night is a blur. I do remember the fireman in a thong though.

Waking up and feeling it on Sunday before heading over to Tom and Jen’s – what a lovely brunch. And the trip highlight – the new De Young – one of the most spectacular buildings I’ve ever seen. I saw a Marc Rothko and a Marc Hawthorne there.

Shane’s yummy Indian chicken and passing out in front of the TV for a 5 am cab ride. When all was said and done I was safe at home at 8 pm on Monday night. Was a great trip back, just too too much going on.

Still not sold on this Arctic Monkeys record. Seems like a decent record by an anything band. I may change my tune (I have the tendency to do that), but really not feeling it.