Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Rock and Roll Hall of fame: Definitive CRAP

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced their Definitive 200 list today.
This list might work if you are a catalog buyer for Wal*Mart and you only have room to stock 200 titles for the most mainstream of audiences, but should not be a list for people who even slightly know music. The list is being marketed as ‘do you need to fill in your collection.’ That’s fine if you’re thinking ‘oh, I did need some more CRAP in my collection.’

Some huge titles were left off the list: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot OR Being There, London Calling OR anything by The Clash, anything by the Ramones, AND White Light/ White Heat. Also, look at where David Bowie, Aretha Franklin and Steely Dan end up at the bottom of the list. But the Dixie Chicks? All over the place.

Here’s the list – with my commentary attached.

1 BEATLES SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND not their best - should be rubber soul or revolver
2 PINK FLOYD DARK SIDE OF THE MOON this album sux.
3 MICHAEL JACKSON THRILLER played out. Some hit singles from time to time, but should not be on this list, esp @ # 3
4 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN IV Zep 4, at 4. def.
5 U2 JOSHUA TREE top 10 maybe, and if you had to own one u2
6 ROLLING STONES EXILE ON MAIN STREET def a top 10.
7 CAROLE KING TAPESTRY barf
8 BOB DYLAN HIGHWAY '61 REVISITED not bob dylan's top. Maybe nashville skyline
9 BEACH BOYS PET SOUNDS this should be higher on the list
10 NIRVANA NEVERMIND I guess should be a top 10 record.
11 PEARL JAM TEN maybe top 20? I like their 2nd record better, actually.
12 BEATLES ABBEY ROAD fine.
13 SANTANA SUPERNATURAL gross. He should not be on this list at all.
14 METALLICA METALLICA master of puppets should be higher.
15 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN BORN TO RUN that’s fine.
16 PRINCE PURPLE RAIN anything prince should be top 10, but not sure its purple rain.
17 AC/DC BACK IN BLACK fine. great rock record.
18 ROLLING STONES LET IT BLEED this record is good, but I like goats head soup better.
19 DOORS DOORS this band sucks.
20 GRATEFUL DEAD AMERICAN BEAUTY I guess if you had to put the dead on this list- this is their most consitant album for non dead heads.
21 SHANIA TWAIN COME ON OVER gross. Pop drivel. A few hit singles are good when you're drunk.
22 WHO WHO'S NEXT the first who record at #22 - shows why this list blows.
23 STEVIE WONDER SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE the first stevie wonder record at #23 - shows why this list blows.
24 FLEETWOOD MAC RUMOURS this is top 10.
25 PINK FLOYD WALL this band sux.
26 ALANIS MORISSETTE JAGGED LITTLE PILL gross
27 NORAH JONES COME AWAY WITH ME gross times 2
28 EMINEM MARSHALL MATHERS LP this is the 1st hip hop album to be on the list? what a joke.
29 OUTKAST SPEAKERBOXX-LOVE BELOW that’s fine.
30 DR. DRE CHRONIC this album rules.
31 BEASTIE BOYS LICENSED TO ILL overrated. whiny.
32 GUNS 'N ROSES APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION this is def top 10. please.
33 DIXIE CHICKS WIDE OPEN SPACES gross times 2.
34 MILES DAVIS KIND OF BLUE this is the best album ever recorded. Anyone whose ever walked into a record shop should own this record.
35 EAGLES HOTEL CALIFORNIA 35 is a fine place for this record
36 DEF LEPPARD HYSTERIA 36 is a fine place for this record
37 SOUNDTRACK GREASE whatevs.
38 MARVIN GAYE WHAT'S GOING ON top 20
39 BEATLES WHITE ALBUM ok fine.
40 SOUNDTRACK SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER I'm torn. I loved this when I first got free vinyl from my teachers in high school, but now I hear it and barf.
41 JIMI HENDRIX ARE YOU EXPERIENCED? top 20
42 BEATLES REVOLVER higher
43 BOSTON BOSTON I'm torn. I loved this when I first got free vinyl from my teachers in high school, but now I hear it go eh.
44 BON JOVI SLIPPERY WHEN WET top 30
45 U2 ACHTUNG BABY top 20
46 WHITNEY HOUSTON WHITNEY HOUSTON best of the crap
47 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN II higher
48 DAVE MATTHEWS BAND CRASH lower
49 ROLLING STONES STICKY FINGERS top 25
50 GREEN DAY DOOKIE I love this record, but have no idea if it belongs here
51 LED ZEPPELIN HOUSES OF THE HOLY higher
52 JONI MITCHELL BLUE not my thing
53 ELVIS PRESLEY ELVIS PRESLEY AT SUN this record is great
54 AEROSMITH TOYS IN THE ATTIC this record is good
55 LAURYN HILL MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL top 50
56 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN BORN IN THE U.S.A. nebraska is better
57 50 CENT GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN' fiddy's just plain dumb. One hit song on here jamz.
58 AC/DC HIGHWAY TO HELL fun
59 NOTORIOUS B.I.G. LIFE AFTER DEATH higher
60 VAN HALEN VAN HALEN that’s fine.
61 GREEN DAY AMERICAN IDIOT please
62 BLACK SABBATH PARANOID higher
63 EMINEM EMINEM SHOW 2 ems on this list? That’s why this list is a joke
64 JEWEL PIECES OF YOU pieces of crap. Dreams DON'T last this long.
65 COLDPLAY RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD no way.
66 MEATLOAF BAT OUT OF HELL if you record shop at gas stations
67 USHER CONFESSIONS makes me waaana, throw this record away. YEAH!!!
68 KID ROCK DEVIL WITHOUT A CAUSE laaaaaaaaame.
69 GEORGE HARRISON ALL THINGS MUST PASS my sweet love.
70 BILLY JOEL STRANGER I guess billy belongs on this list somewhere, so fine.
71 EAGLES HELL FREEZES OVER laaaaaaaaame. times 2
72 VAN MORRISON MOONDANCE this is fine.
73 REM AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE top 40
74 PHIL COLLINS NO JACKET REQUIRED top 40
75 METALLICA MASTER OF PUPPETS better than metallica
76 FAITH HILL BREATHE no way. barf.
77 JOHNNY CASH AT FOLSOM PRISON higher. JC is a god, where most on this list are not.
78 JOHN COLTRANE LOVE SUPREME higher
79 PINK FLOYD WISH YOU WERE HERE this band sux.
80 MICHAEL JACKSON OFF THE WALL this is better than thriller but still over done.
81 MARVIN GAYE LET'S GET IT ON higher. even though I cant listen to the lead cut cause of all the ads its been used in.
82 BOB SEGER NIGHT MOVES kinda torn on this one.
83 PAUL SIMON GRACELAND this is top 30.
84 LINKIN PARK HYBRID THEORY laaaaaaaaaame.
85 PRINCE 1999 top 25
86 DEF LEPPARD PYROMANIA that’s fine.
87 JANET JACKSON CONTROL top 40
88 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAGIK fine with it here
89 DIRE STRAITS BROTHERS IN ARMS ?????????
90 TUPAC ALL EYEZ ON ME ok, fine.
91 MATCHBOX TWENTY YOURSELF OR SOMEONE LIKE YOU this band sux.
92 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS CALIFORNICATION eh.
93 LED ZEPPELIN PHYSICAL GRAFFITI higher
94 NELLY COUNTRY GRAMMAR laaaaaaaaame.
95 CREED HUMAN CLAY BAD
96 CLASH LONDON CALLING BAD
97 CELINE DION FALLING INTO YOU 3 IN A ROW BAD.
98 NEIL YOUNG HARVEST OMG, this should so be top 20.
99 SOUNDTRACK DIRTY DANCING ALMOST 4 IN A ROW BAD. What's next - the big chill soundtrack?
100 DIXIE CHICKS HOME they are not musicians. They are phonys.
101 TOM PETTY FULL MOON FEVER dude, top 25
102 VAN HALEN 1984 this is fine here
103 SOUNDTRACK TITANIC barf for a week.
104 CROSBY STILLS & NASH DEJA VU ????????????
105 TLC CRAZYSEXYCOOL ok this is fine here. I own this record.
106 BECK ODELAY ok this is fine here. I own this record.
107 KENNY G BREATHLESS you've got to be f*king kidding here, right?
108 NWA. STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON higher
109 SEX PISTOLS NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS higher
110 BEATLES RUBBER SOUL MUCH higher
111 RADIOHEAD O.K. COMPUTER MUCH higher
112 SIMON & GARFUNKEL BRIDGE OVER TROUBLE WATER top 50
113 DIXIE CHICKS FLY OMG this is such a buy, post grammys BS move. This list is dumb.
114 METALLICA AND JUSTICE FOR ALL better than metallica
115 MICHAEL JACKSON DANGEROUS no way in hell
116 MARIAH CAREY DAYDREAM no way in hell
117 SOUNDTRACK TOP GUN what about a kenny loggins sings his hits from the 80s instead.
118 ELTON JOHN GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD top 50
119 POLICE SYNCHRONICITY top 50
120 NO DOUBT TRAGIC KINGDOM that’s fine here
121 ROLLING STONES BEGGAR'S BANQUET good record
122 R KELLY R top 100
123 TOOL LATERALUS tool blows
124 OASIS WHAT'S THE STORY MORNING GLORY top 50
125 BOB MARLEY EXODUS I own this and they play it every hostel in western europe. people should know these songs, but not love them.
126 JOURNEY ESCAPE ha ha journey!
127 CHRISTINA AGUILERA CHRISTINA AGUILERA maybe? - nooooooo
128 JAY-Z BLUEPRINT hot ness
129 ALICIA KEYS DIARY OF ALICIA KEYS hack
130 SOUNDTRACK O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU? that’s fine.
131 CARS CARS top 50 easily
132 ENYA DAY WITHOUT RAIN I own some enya too.
133 NATALIE COLE UNFORGETTABLE WITH LOVE NATALIE COLE no way
134 SOUNDTRACK FOOTLOOSE see #117
135 LIONEL RICHIE CAN'T SLOW DOWN all night long - this is his record about blow. hot jamz, cool.
136 SARAH MCLACHLAN SURFACING eh.
137 BONNIE RAITT NICK OF TIME eh. X2
138 METALLICA RIDE THE LIGHTNING hot
139 SHERYL CROW TUESDAY NIGHT MUSIC CLUB drivel
140 FRANK SINATRA IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS is this franks best? And shouldn’t his 1st on the list be higher?
141 EARTH WIND FIRE GRATITUDE that’s cool.
142 ZZ TOP ELIMINATOR zz top rules.
143 WILLIE NELSON RED HEADED STRANGER willie rules too.
144 JOHN LENNON IMAGINE this is a great record
145 TONI BRAXTON TONI BRAXTON unbreak my fart.
146 ETTA JAMES AT LAST higher
147 ELVIS PRESLEY ELVIS PRESLEY fine.
148 CAT STEVENS TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN higher.
149 SMASHING PUMPKINS MELLON COLLIE & THE INFINITE SADNESS their 2nd record is much better
150 DAVE BRUBECK TIME OUT this was the first pop musician on the cover of time magazine. Should be top 50
151 JANET JACKSON JANET only one janet on this list, please
152 QUEEN A NIGHT AT THE OPERA queen deserves to be here
153 OZZY OSBOURNE BLIZZARD OF OZZ hmmm, kind of torn here
154 WILL SMITH BIG WILLIE STYLE BARF
155 PRINCE SIGN OF THE TIMES higher
156 PUBLIC ENEMY IT TAKES A NATION OF MILLIONS TO HOLD US BACK MUCH higher
157 BOB DYLAN BLOOD ON THE TRACKS MUCH higher
158 GEORGE MICHAEL FAITH that’s fine.
159 BOYZ II MEN COOLEYHIGHHARMONY love the lead track
160 DESTINY'S CHILD WRITING'S ON THE WALL lame
161 JAY-Z BLACK ALBUM alright
162 AVRIL LAVIGNE LET GO complicated is a good pop ditty. So is ummbop
163 FUGEES SCORE no way
164 MADONNA LIKE A VIRGIN should be higher
165 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN awesome.
166 STEVIE RAY VAUGHN TEXAS FLOOD SRV sux
167 STONE TEMPLE PILOTS CORE I was into that grunge stuff when I was growing up. This is fine.
168 ORIGINAL CAST PHANTOM OF THE OPERA this doesn’t belong here
169 JETHRO TULL AQUALUNG steve miller is better than the tull
170 TUPAC ME AGAINST THE WORLD not
171 DAVID BOWIE RISE AND FALL OF ZIGGY STARDUST is this bowie's only entry? This list is total BS
172 SHAKIRA LAUNDRY SERVICE no way
173 SOUNDTRACK FORREST GUMP enough with the soundtracks?!? seriously - where is the big chill?
174 AL GREEN CALL ME ok
175 CURTIS MAYFIELD SUPERFLY hot funk.
176 LIVE THROWING COPPER bull dookey
177 GEORGE BENSON BREEZIN' never heard of it
178 WHITE STRIPES WHITE BLOOD CELLS this record shreds, but I am bias, so overall - maybe?
179 LYNYRD SKYNYRD PRONOUNCED LEH-NERD SKIN-ERD SKYNARD!!!!!!! That’s fine
180 SADE DIAMOND LIFE I like sade ok
181 FLEETWOOD MAC FLEETWOOD MAC ok
182 PAUL MCCARTNEY & WINGS BAND ON THE RUN top 30 for me.
183 BEYONCE DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE nooooooooooooooooooo.
184 ANITA BAKER RAPTURE nooooooooooooooooooo. Part 2
185 NAS IIIMATIC higher
186 BARBARA STREISAND A STAR IS BORN nooooooooooooooooooo. Part 3
187 EARTH WIND FIRE THAT'S THE WAY OF THE WORLD fine
188 ANITA BAKER RHYTHM OF LOVE nooooooooooooooooooo. Part 4
189 JAY-Z IN MY LIFETIME VOL 1 enough Jay Z already.
190 LL COOL J MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT dope
191 STEELY DAN AJA the dan should be much much higher, like in the top 50
192 WILLIE NELSON STARDUST love this record
193 ARETHA FRANKLIN SPARKLE she should have a better record higher. Like the bowie BS
194 ANDREA BOCELLI ANDREA if you’re a grandma
195 BOB DYLAN BRINGING IT ALL BACK HOME this is good, nashville skyline is better
196 LUTHER VANDROSS NEVER TOO MUCH no way.
197 U2 ALL THAT YOU CAN'T LEAVE BEHIND they were do bloated by then
198 RUSH 2112 one rush is mandatory
199 OUTKAST AQUEMINI one outkast on this list is fine.
200 GRAND FUNK RAILROAD WE'RE AN AMERICAN BAND fine

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anyone who says Pink Floyd suck and in the next breath say that Dr Dre- Chronic "rules" should never, ever ever ever again comment on anything remotely approaching the subject of MUSIC!!

Alia McKee and Shane Scott said...

Anonymous - I think you take yourself and your Pink Floyd too seriously!

Olive Wood said...

Lovely, Josef. Gawd bless you.

gouge away said...

Anonymous you're dumb! Or maybe German?

Reagan said...

Is there even a need to get mad at these lists anymore? They're simply designed to sell back catalogues and infuriate us rock snobs. BTW, Bob Dylan's finest moment was Blonde on Blonde, but Highway 61 Revisited is a perfect album to introduce Mr. Dylan to the Walmart nation. . . . and Pink Floyd does not suck. Was Motorhead on there? They better fucking be on there!!!

Christine said...

this is great ;) proof that i need to read your blog more often.

Alicia Keys as a hack is a little bit bitchy, Mr Robey, but I do think the fact that Shania Twain is a) on the list at all and b) above Alicia Keys is total bullhonkey and makes the whole thing questionable. maybe revlon is a sponsor. who can forget those sassy ads where she wears the cocked top hat? ANyhow...

additional craziness i would note: 1. license to ill should never, EVER appear instead of or above Pauls Boutique.

2. Jonny Cash not in top 10?!

3. Rubber Soul. Definitely #1 of the Beatles and who can argue with that?! ;)

4. Thriller - can it ever be played out? really? for me that was music for the roller skate rink, tap dance class and now feel like a total old fart for writing about it.